A hardline Hindu organisation, known for its opposition to “corrupting” Western food imports, is planning to launch a new soft drink made from cow’s urine, often seen as sacred in parts of India.

The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), or National Volunteer Corps, said the bovine beverage is undergoing laboratory tests for the next 2 to 3 months but did not give a specific date for its commercial release.

The flavour is not yet known, but the RSS said the liquid produced by Hinduism’s revered holy cows is being mixed with products such as aloe vera and gooseberry to fight diseases such as diabetes and cancer.

Hmmm, and what flavors will they come out with?  Dr. Hayer, Cow Zero, Utters-Up, Bovine Dew?

But really is this just another disguised attempt at using fundamentalist and religious fervor to conceal the true motive of capitalism?  Never mind throwing in the health benefits angle.  Who ever these guys are they are brilliant.  Combining hate for the West, religious idealism and health consciousness.  Wow, now that is a recipe for instant success.  One just has to get past the part about drinking cow urine…

We may scoff at such products.  But are our Jesus dolls, scripture mints(at least they are sugar free) and the latest Purpose Driven Life for Your Grandchildren installment any different.  We package things that sell.  What really is the difference between cow urine soda or the talking Jesus doll?  Don’t both use our religious sentiments to sell a products.  

And this is the one reason why christianity and capitalism should always walk away from each other and not beside each other, holding hands, walking into the sunset.  For if christianity and capitalism walk embracingly into the sunset, I fear that the darkness will be a night that we may not survive.  At least as we know it.  And maybe that is a good thing…

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“Gabriel, I just am overwhelmed by all the complaints. Ever since the rapture, our angelic complaint department has been over run. Even though John 14 is not talking about mansions in heaven, when the crowd of newest heaven arrivals found that out there were no mansions for them there was almost rebellion.

We heard it all…

“We were promised our own, individual mansions. I won’t leave until I get what I was promised. I’ve worked hard on that their earth. Do you need to go to the records office to examine my record. Do you know that I gave 10% of everything I owned to fund this project.”

So we made everyone individual mansions.

Funny thing is that almost everyone felt that their mansion was underbuilt. Those humans have this strange thought that their works would translate into the size of their mansion. One person even said, “If I knew this I sure wouldn’t have done all of those things on earth.” Another person said, “In capitalism, you get what you earn, you work hard you get more.”

Then the cries for fences came…

This is what one person said, “How do I know where my mansion land begins and ends? Remember I’ve worked hard to earn this. Having this is my right. I am just protecting what is mine.”

But Gabriel, what has really gotten my goat is the building requests for intercom systems. There are some people who are getting tried of the endless singing and giving glory. Some people are just complaining of being exhausted. One lady asked me, “When do I get time for me? When do I get to enjoy my mansion?” So thus the requests for the intercom and speaker systems and that way people can attend to their own wants and still be involved.

Funny thing Gabriel, I have not heard a peep from that group who robes where red with blood when they got here. We gave them new white robes and they bolted to the throne and I have not heard one thing from them since.

(the above is a satire on the absurdity of some of our popular views of heaven and how many of them reflect our culture and our thoughts rather than heaven’s culture and heaven’s thoughts)